I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We have started to decorate penises.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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