My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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