Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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