Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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