I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
