it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem