Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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