I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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