it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
