Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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