can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
