you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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