Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
