you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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