i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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