You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize