life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
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Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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