he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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