he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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