Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
