It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
