He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
