so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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