tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the condom got lost in my hair
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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