I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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