Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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