Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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