remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
