hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
