doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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