You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hello my rib-scented angel!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize