I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize