Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
