fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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