this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
