He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
