I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
