oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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