I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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