Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Will exercising make me less horny?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
