The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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