I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.