Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (2973) Bad night (566)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl

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  (440): i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe. (440): I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl http://tfl.nu/33bi
  Replies (25) Good night (6691) Bad night (700)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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  (303): If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed. http://tfl.nu/n5xo
  Replies (9) Good night (3290) Bad night (781)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite

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  (248): remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite http://tfl.nu/a8vx
  Replies (24) Good night (3737) Bad night (649)
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  (315): View more from New York

  His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

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  (315): His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians. http://tfl.nu/73dw
  Replies (13) Good night (6208) Bad night (1627)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent

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  (410): I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent http://tfl.nu/8hat
  Replies (9) Good night (1029) Bad night (3817)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

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  (317): She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here http://tfl.nu/ql7u
  Replies (2) Good night (2242) Bad night (785)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.

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  (651): I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober. http://tfl.nu/gztw
  Replies (5) Good night (1441) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Come down off the roof.

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  (847): Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go. (314): Come down off the roof. http://tfl.nu/d3mp
  Replies (3) Good night (2019) Bad night (694)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  .....a litte

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  (302): are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life (860): .....a litte http://tfl.nu/slo9
  Replies (6) Good night (1209) Bad night (497)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could

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  (803): Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could http://tfl.nu/i42k
  Replies (5) Good night (1360) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drinking loves me for WHO I am

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  (905): Drinking loves me for WHO I am http://tfl.nu/nlm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1156) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"

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  (780): Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl" http://tfl.nu/k17c
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (414)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen

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  (256): I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen http://tfl.nu/i9fp
  Replies (1) Good night (806) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.

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  (815): HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK. http://tfl.nu/waoa
  Replies (1) Good night (183) Bad night (414)

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