I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?