I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do