I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.