Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be