sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
