Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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