I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
