Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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