I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
