Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
