We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
