The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
