it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize