first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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