she woke up with a sticky ear
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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