Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Never joke about your clitoris.
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