Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize