He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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