apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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