piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
