He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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