I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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