he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
